Uh, can I get a sweater now? Thanks.

HILLARY CLINTON said that, in the Senate, “there are work horses and show horses”. Guess which one Scott Brown (R-MA) will be? He just might have sold more gym memberships than New Years Eve did. He might have given millions of people an opportunity to re-think white lycra. Don’t be surprised if all that doesn’t quite equal a powerhouse in the Senate.

But NO referendum on Obama, this!!

Despite what the dime-thin media will say over and over.

Turn off the TV.

This is what happened:

1. Some media saavy boy-band member of a politico took advantage of the fact that his youthful indiscretion happened to take the form of a totally palatable G rated soft-core porn photo-shoot, and not anything truly foul-able. He ran with it, quite smartly. He took to a five months of interviews saying mostly nothing, the media loves nothing better. People tried to get offended by him and he was saying nothing so they couldn’t. Meanwhile the photos of him half naked went viral on Facebook and were posted over and over mostly by outraged Democrats, giving him un-limited, literally bottomless, free publicity. As no longer D-list publicity queen Kathy Griffin herself might say, “you can’t buy publicity like that”.

2. Coakley laid deathly low.

BIG MISTAKE. When you can’t be sexy, be smarter. She should have gone after him day and night all the while smiling sweetly, and doing something even more funny or charming .. a photo shoot of her own making fun of his perhaps. With bullet points of her policy initiatives! Want to go viral Coakley? Then you kind of have to get creative. No? Not yet? Nothing yet? No?

3. Coakley is extremely well-known in Massachusetts, for a very long time, and despite being advised to, over and over, never ran for the Senate before. You have to wonder WHY. Hey, is it safe to say what we are all thinking? Maybe she just didn’t want it as badly!

4. Time and again, in runoff elections, Americans like to choose their own candidate. Coakley was hand -picked by Kennedy’s widow. Good credentials for the short-term but when the day came that she had to go after it on her own, she never really did. I daresay that is not what you want in a politician.

5. Obama’s politics need to change, yes. But that’s not indicated by this election, just the national mood. Increasingly and with great speed, the left is souring on him, the right never wanted him and the middle sees nothing getting done. Gays are so outraged over Obama the current issue of The Advocate says “KISS MY ASS” over the image of a Donkey. Gays are some of the most moneyed and fanatical of supporters, they will give you all their free time and a hell of a lot of money, and are politically influential among their friends. This is all endangered for Obama as of now.

When Cindy McCain comes out in favor of gay marriage and Obama says “marriage is between a man and a woman” you’re in a big ole icy pot of trouble, of your own making Mr. President. “Hurry up and follow” is not going to work this time. We’re in a new mood, Obama, mostly because what you tried to do, shake things up and activate voters, actually worked. So now we want results.

6. Politics is a war. It is a sport. Anyone who plays on a team knows that you’re meant to give it your all but never for a minute take it seriously. It means the world, and it kind of doesn’t. When you’re in it, it does. When the game is over, there’s always another day, and you’re never NEVER to denounce your team when you’ve lost.I heard someone say they “fell out of love with politics, with America over this”. What?

Wrong! You look at what went badly, you TRAIN and you chant your song, loudly. You can’t be a fan of participatory politics if you’re only a fan in sunny weather, from inside the house.

Organize Progressives, organize like hell.

*ALSO: If your self-esteem, if your uplifted mood, is based on whether your politics are being performed in the world you’re going to be one seriously messed up individual most of the time. Smile when you’re winning … smile when you lose, work like hell, and understand that a lot of times it comes down to luck, which Mr. New Massachusetts Senator knows fully well, right now trust me.

And a handful of old photos that are just cutesy enough don’t hurt a bit.

SUIT UP. RESUME GAME. GET IT DONE TROOPS.

Bush passed a hell of a lot of legislation without a super-majority. It’s time to get hands dirty.

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=261069047903&ref=nf#/notes/troy-ygnacio-soriano/american-idiots-the-day-after-in-mass-the-cute-guy-v-substantive-mellow-coakley/295387155995

-Troy Ygnacio Soriano.

Not interested in the common, well-trampled ideas, want to get deeper, more plain-speaking, and realer than the rest. I keep myself inspired in order to be inspiring. My ideal reader is altruistic, political, and very capable. Passionate.

Heterosexuals gone wild! Tiger Woods shrugs off a global pandemic, surpasses the most ribald ancient Greek and Roman citizenry in promiscuity and sexual permissiveness, while simultaneously double-slapping committed gays and lesbians.

Alleged mistress number 8.

“AM I THE ONLY ONE NOT SLEEPING WITH TIGER WOODS?”, was a male friends status update yesterday on Facebook. That was it. One could almost hear the fast-approaching weariness behind the joke.

Even among the most good-humoured, sports-loving and generally celebrity-accepting crowd, the Tiger Woods pimp-drama had finally become appalling. As Tiger-related headlines begin to elbow each other for space on my Google news homepage, our knowledge of the epic sexfest and its complicated aftermath may in fact just be starting.

I already know way more about the hair-pulling, well-endowed, spanking-enthusiast Tiger Woods than I ever cared to. Before this happened Tiger Woods was to me and everyone I know, mostly an endorser of stuff –products that I didn’t like or buy anyway. Gatorade? I drink Vitamin-water. Golf? I like soccer, rugby, football. Though I’ve played it and have always been pretty decent at it, I don’t even consider golf a real sport. Hearing about Tiger Woods’ sex life is like finding a vibrator in Grandmother’s bedside nightstand, I’m cool with it in theory, I just don’t ever really want to.

But we know how this is going to play out already, don’t we? This act is more scripted than a Britney Spears concert and about to be just as every bit pre-recorded. I’m surprised articles about him don’t already come with the by-line, “The Tiger Woods scandal brought to you by EPT, the official pregnancy test of pro-golf.”

-He will apologize, again, in a much bigger way, probably on Oprah. Some vague dysfunction will be theorized, probably sex addiction. His childhood will be pored over and we will hear every detail of it.

-He will defend himself against a few lawsuits and settle others, alternating between a sad and apologetic tone and an aggrieved “enough is enough” tone.

-Photos and video will leak and he may even profit from them, a la Paris Hilton’s sex tape. It will only further aggrandize his exploits. Women who have slept with him will be pressed for details and they will supply them, furthering their own fame and mini-industries.

-He will make fun of himself on SNL.

-He will probably “retire” and concentrate on his golf tournament, and becoming more of the type of person he had only portrayed himself as.

-He will take up new causes and second and third careers as a way to cleanse himself. Causes and non-profits will rain down from around Tiger like a soft hail.

-Endorsers will slowly come back.

Swell seems like a golf-ready adjective. Swell, I think as I browse through 79 pages of Tiger-related soft-core porn, photos of his busty accusers in this, his sprawling, self-made scandal. But let’s be clear: the weathers warm for Tiger. He exists deep in a cushion-within-a-cushion, and always will. But I got to tell you. As a gay man who nearly every morning reads heartbreaking news stories of gay marriage initiatives failing in this or that state, as I watch the majority deny the minority, their own families and neighbors, of basic freedoms even as I see “freedom isn’t free, thank a soldier” on bumper stickers in every suburbs of this country, as I see, up-close, long-committed couples doing the day to day hard work of relationship-building and maintaining, against all cultural odds, and still not being able to enjoy the kind of reassuring freedoms that Tiger Woods won so easily and exploited so readily, as I hear his glib excuses why, as I note that not one reporter is raising his HIV status as a concern, when it would be the first question for any gay man of equal stature if he were in similar straits, I’m kind of limited in the amount of heterosexuals-gone-wild drama I can continue to stomach without protest.

From everything we know about HIV, Tiger Woods behavior should be very odd. What? Don’t the rich get sexually transmitted diseases? Clearly, if even a quarter of what is being reported concerning Tiger Woods sexual behavior is true, Tiger Woods is the very well known picture of a high-risk candidate, not only for HIV but for a whole host of sexually transmitted filth. And his gaggle is growing. He was so out there sexually that his mistresses didn’t even know he had so many mistresses. Did he use a condom every time? Even if he did, did he use it for all sexual activity? Do his partners have a right to know his status?

Like the Catholic church settling millions of dollars of lawsuits in child molestation charges and then sending another 50, 000 dollars recently to Maine to end a gay marriage right there, I’m growing weary of the worst sorts of people on Earth telling me how some of the best sorts of people on Earth should live in order to be more pleasing in the eyes of their faraway sky God.

Let me see if my take-away lesson concerning outrageous scandals is correct: you may have morally reprehensible behavior and a lot of it, with women, while married, and even worse, you can have it with children if you are a priest and face minimal charges, and have your case be settled out of court, but if you are a same-gender couple who has been together for decades and love each other and want to be married, you are destroying conventional marriage and what are we going to tell our children about you?

The whole of Tiger Woods’s sexual perversity comes down to this: even though he is married he also likes to have sex with buxom, blondey, not-too-bright types. So would a lot of guys in his situation. So what. If gay marriage was on the law books, I’d say well, let him sort this out with his wife and these women. Look, I’m from San Francisco. We have days of public nudity. We’re not big on lavish moral judgments, it’s just not our thing man. But we are also quite big on fairness. And at the end of the day, it makes me very angry that married or not, Tiger Woods can do lewd things with many women in many states as many times as he wants to, while Adam Lambert can’t get married and was shouted down for even simulating sex onstage with a man.

All of which to me means it’s high time for the baseless, flagrant and disgusting homophobia in this country to be called out in a big way, legislated-against once and for all. If Tiger Woods and his cadre of easy-peasy sex pawns is the impetus for that, then so be it.

Let smart and ready gay activists and their many supporters and families take the ball culturally and rightly whack this ball hard, and far. As sleazy celebrities ride the various scandals of their sexual promiscuity to another golden photo-op and tearful Barbara Walters sit-down, they can help or get out of the way as we use those same scandals to make an ever-stronger case for a few well-deserved and very earned basic rights.

If straight people can hold up their marriages-themselves as moral certitude, gay people should absolutely use them against themselves when those marriages explode into 11 mistresses. Which they are doing with alarming alacrity.

“FORE!”

written by Troy Soriano.